This time 2 years ago, or even 1 year ago simply the idea of speaking or reading in front of the class would strike fear into my heart. I would never even put my hand up in class and when I had to read something I would go bright red and stutter on the words even though I could obviously read very well, but for some reason I could not even get the words out quickly enough.
Today I had to read a paragraph from the textbook in Psychology and what I didn't realise until after I'd finished reading, was that I wasn't anxious or red in the face, or sweating or stuttering. I'd read the paragraph without having to stop to find the words. I'd just read it without even thinking about the fact that I was in a classroom with other people looking and listening.
Since starting sixth form I put my hand up to answer questions multiple times in a lesson and I get that satisfying feeling of getting the answer right. And for the first time I don't get embarrassed if I get the answer wrong, because it doesn't bother me anymore. Although my Psychology class only has 6 people in it and my R.S class only has 10 thats still more people than I've ever felt comfortable speaking in front of before.
I guess if I look back just 2 years to when I was in year 11, I'm almost a completely different person. I'm so much more confident in myself than I've ever been before. Actually I wouldn't say I'm a completely different person. I'm still the same person but all the stuff I wanted to do and say before but I couldn't because I was so anxious, I do and say now. I just wish I was able to find my confidence when I was going through high school because if I'm honest, I might have actually enjoyed it.
I'm not saying that anyone who doesn't like speaking in front of a class should just go and do it. I think it's up to you what you want to do and what you don't because there's nothing worse than having other people telling you what YOU should do. But if you feel like you can just do it once, I would go for it. Even though, in that situation I never did, I wish I had. But at the same time,if its something so scary then don't do it. But it is very satisfying when you answer a question and you're right :)
I hope reading this little story of mine has given you some hope that you won't always be stuck with anxiety and I'd love to know whether anyone has had any similar experiences. So please leave a comment below if you want to because that would make me super happy :)
Thanks for reading,