Speaking In Front Of The Class!?

This time 2 years ago, or even 1 year ago simply the idea of speaking or reading in front of the class would strike fear into my heart. I would never even put my hand up in class and when I had to read something I would go bright red and stutter on the words even though I could obviously read very well, but for some reason I could not even get the words out quickly enough.

Today I had to read a paragraph from the textbook in Psychology and what I didn't realise until after I'd finished reading, was that I wasn't anxious or red in the face, or sweating or stuttering. I'd read the paragraph without having to stop to find the words. I'd just read it without even thinking about the fact that I was in a classroom with other people looking and listening.

Since starting sixth form I put my hand up to answer questions multiple times in a lesson and I get that satisfying feeling of getting the answer right. And for the first time I don't get embarrassed if I get the answer wrong, because it doesn't bother me anymore. Although my Psychology class only has 6 people in it and my R.S class only has 10 thats still more people than I've ever felt comfortable speaking in front of before.

I guess if I look back just 2 years to when I was in year 11, I'm almost a completely different person. I'm so much more confident in myself than I've ever been before. Actually I wouldn't say I'm a completely different person. I'm still the same person but all the stuff I wanted to do and say before but I couldn't because I was so anxious, I do and say now. I just wish I was able to find my confidence when I was going through high school because if I'm honest, I might have actually enjoyed it.

I'm not saying that anyone who doesn't like speaking in front of a class should just go and do it. I think it's up to you what you want to do and what you don't because there's nothing worse than having other people telling you what YOU should do. But if you feel like you can just do it once, I would go for it. Even though, in that situation I never did, I wish I had. But at the same time,if its something so scary then don't do it. But it is very satisfying when you answer a question and you're right :)

I hope reading this little story of mine has given you some hope that you won't always be stuck with anxiety and I'd love to know whether anyone has had any similar experiences. So please leave a comment below if you want to because that would make me super happy :)

Thanks for reading,

Bye x

Too Much Work!

I have now been going to school all day, every day for a good 3 or 4 weeks now. Which is 8:35 till 4:25. Now I am only doing 2 A-levels which is less than most people but that is still A LOT of work. I have about 3 free-periods every day on average and I am still working all through most of them. So that is constant essay writing and reading for almost 8 hours every day. Excluding break and lunch of course which mostly consists of eating cake and drinking coffee from the new fancy machine we have at school. But when I get home just before 5, I am mega super tired which gets hard when that is every day.

My tactics for dealing with all the work is trying to get all my school work and homework done actually at school if I can, which is usually doable. This means that when I get home I can just chill out an watch tv or play on the computer or eat crumpets. I also have a shower when I get in from school because its just really nice to have a warm shower (because I don't have a bath) and get into my pyjamas as soon as I get home. I also try to be in bed with the lights off by 10pm since I have to get up at 7am and I need my sleep! Sleep is your friend so the more sleep the better in my opinion :)

That was a brief little summary of how I deal with the amount of school work there is at A-level and general school. I hope you enjoyed it

Thanks for reading

Bye x

All Day!

Soooooo I've been going to school everyday for about 5 weeks now, and on Thursday I had my first full day, doing all my lessons, staying right through till 3:30. I had 3 lessons and I also helped with the R.E conference taking people round. And I even told off some students from other schools for going out of bounds.

For me, going in for a full day so quickly is a HUGE achievement. I haven't had a whole day in school for about 2 years. And just 5 weeks into a new school I'm doing what I couldn't even do at a school I'd been at for 5 years!

The friends I've made have been so kind and understanding towards me which has helped SO MUCH. The school haven't been on my back about attendance either I've just been allowed to come and go as much or as little as I want. I've been staying for lunch as well pretty much everyday for the last couple of weeks.

I'm so happy and proud of myself :) This week coming up I think I'm aiming to do 2 or 3 full days. And to be honest the thing I'm finding the hardest now is having to get up early to get out the door at 8:00 every morning! But I can get coffee at break times so that keeps me from falling asleep mid way through a lesson xD

Thanks for reading x

Bye x

Managing Back To School Anxiety

There are just a few days until a new school year begins. This is pretty much the first year in my entire 12 year school career that I haven't been completely anxious all the time for the whole week before school. And even though there isn't that anxiety there for me this year, I know that for loads of people, that anxiety is there. So I wanted to share some tips for managing it.

Without a shadow of a doubt, the worst thing for me was that I kept it bottled up until literally the day before school. You think, at the time you just need to get on with it because it always happens and you don't really know any different. But if you just talk to someone, it will help. It's very likely that your school has a support centre kind of thing. And if you just tell your mum or dad they can talk to the school about it on the first day, maybe even before, if your school has a non-pupil day before term starts. Which is exactly what I did 2 years ago when I was going into year 11.

When I was about to start back in year 11, I'd just received my Physics GCSE result which was below my target grade and I was worried that I'd get in trouble for not getting the result the teachers said I should've got. I realise now, that the grade I got was still good but when you see that target grade on a piece of paper and then your actual grade next to it, it seems like a huge deal. 

If you're worrying about forgetting something you need for school, make a list. I don't know about you but making a list in a super nice notebook is quite satisfying. And even once you've made your list if you're still in doubt ask someone else if they they can see anything you've forgotten. And I've found that I remember everything thats actually really important (pencil case, bag, folder...).

I hope that those couple of tips I shared will help a bit. If anyone wants to ask me a question about going back to school feel free to leave a comment and I will try my best to get back to you.

Thanks for reading,

Bye x

Starting A New School

I know that it's not like I'm moving half way through the year. But it is still technically moving schools. Most people from my high school split between three of four different colleges, so there's a fair amount of people who know each other moving to the same school together. But I went into my new school not knowing anyone at all. I could've gone to the same school as everyone else, but I didn't like the college. So I didn't.

I think one of the things that stops people from moving schools is the fact that they won't know anyone. But that was really not an issue for long. And to be honest, I really did make friends a lot quicker than I thought I would.

If you're unhappy at your school, don't stay put just because you think it'll be harder to move. If the place isn't right for you, find a place that is. You shouldn't have to be miserable and anxious throughout your whole school life.

Don't get me wrong, I made some great friends and I did have some great times with them. But like I've said before, being happy with your friends at break time is one thing being happy with school itself is another thing. I still keep in touch and meet up with my friends from high school, even though we don't go to the same school any more.

My advice to anyone who is unhappy at school and is thinking about moving. Just go look at a few schools. You will know pretty quickly whether that school is right for you. So just do the right thing for you. Don't be unhappy just because it feels like the easy way at the time. You'll be so much happier at a school that's right for you.

I hope this helped some of you if you're unsure about what to do.

Thanks for reading :)

Bye x

2 Years Later

It's taken me 2 years, but yesterday I spent a whole day at school. From 8:30 till 16:00. For a long time I honestly never thought I'd get to a point at which I would go to school and genuinely enjoy it completely. One thing is enjoying spending time with your friends at school. But for me there was always that anxiety at the back of my mind.

I'm starting at an all girls school, which generally means that lessons are quieter and the classes are smaller. The school goes right from reception to the end of sixth form. So there would be girls in the sixth form who might have been at the school for years already and some won't have been there for so long.

I was kind of nervous yesterday because I knew I would be the new girl. It just happened that the girl sitting next to me that got talking to me and introduced me to the rest of her friends. They were all really nice and I found out that they were pretty much doing the same subjects as me, which meant I would already know people in my lessons.

In the morning we had a study skills session, one of the things we had to do was write down 3 of our interests. It was then that I found out they were gamers just like me. Real nerds actually. I've never met any other girls who play video games, so as you can imagine I was over the moon. I already had so much in common with people I'd only met an hour ago.

In the afternoon we had a trip to the beach for the year group to get to know each other. There are only about 30 girls in my year so it was a nice group size. Even though everyone split into their little group of friends. We were able to go to the ice cream parlour to get an ice-cream, which is not anything I've ever done on an induction day before!

I had the best time yesterday. I finally felt like I was like everyone else, and that I didn't have to hide my anxiety away like I've been doing for years. It was just really nice to not feel anxious all the time.

This is a fresh start for me, I can be open about my difficulties, but leave the past behind.

This is going to be a GREAT couple of years.

Thanks for reading,

Bye x

Why Dogs Are The Best!

Up until about 6 years ago I was absolutely terrified of dogs. Right from when I was little I wouldn't even walk past a dog, not even one that was on a lead. My Dad would have to carry me, that's how bad it was. When I was 10 my family decided to get a dog to hopefully help me get past my fear.

So in November 2008 (I think) my dad took me to visit a 13 day old labrador puppy. I knew right then that she was the dog for me. She was so small that I could hold her in two hands and she hadn't even opened her eyes for the first time yet.

10 year old me and 2 week old Leia :)

I think that day was probably the first time in years that I'd even touched a dog and now I was cuddling my own puppy.

We decided to name her Leia (like Princess Leia from Star Wars).

A few weeks later we brought Leia home for the first time and although she was still a baby she was already a giant for her age. And as most puppies are, she was bit crazy and liked to play bite a lot! Which, as you can imagine, was not ideal for me. We had this thing called a pet corrector which is basically an aerosol can that just sprays air at the dog, which makes them jump a bit. It's absolutely harmless.This was very useful for me to have because if Leia was trying to bite or was being a bit silly I could just spray it and she would stop.

2-3 months old.

 As Leia grew up I became more and more confident around other dogs. And now, 6 years later I absolutely love dogs and I honestly will never live without a dog in my life! I read books about dogs, when I see a dog out somewhere I always want to go as stroke it and find out what breed it is.

I love Leia to death! She is the most lovely, caring and sweet dog in the whole world even if she is a complete giant beast of a dog! People think she is a boy because of how huge she is!

I am not too big for this chair!

 When I'm having a bad day Leia is always there to give me hug or sneeze in my face. When I'm stressed or anxious I just need to sit with her and I feel calm again. Spending time with my dog always makes me very happy!

6 years and 3 days after I first met Leia!

For me, spending time just sitting with my dog definitely helps a great deal with my anxiety and stress levels. I don't ever need to say anything to her and she never says anything to me but Leia always seems to know when she's needed. I can just sit with her, quietly and I don't have to talk about what's got me down, or anxious, or stressed.

 I'd like to know whether any of you who have a dog feel the same way about spending time with your dog as I do. I'm pretty sure that it isn't just my dog that is amazing!

For anyone out there who is scared of dogs, I can totally sympathise. And I would 100% recommend getting a dog from a puppy if you want to overcome your fear. Not only did I get over my fear but I got a best friend in the process.

Thanks for reading,

Bye x